While packing one of my bags, I realized I stashed my vibrator, lube, and batch of condoms in one of the pockets.

• Me: Okay, ma. I'm going to show you this now, to save myself from any further embarrassment, so that you also know not to open this pocket in this bag, okay?
• Mother: Alright... (Looks inside, grabs a condom, looks at it)
• Me: No, this. (Pulls vibrator up from the bag a bit)
• Mother: (Pulls it out the rest of the way, not seeing what it is) Huh? Ah, ew! Is that clean?! Ahhh, I gotta wash my hands! (Runs away)