I have a plan!

So, essentially, we still have no real food in the house. Haven’t for like three weeks now, basically since we came back from the #worstvacationever. What we do have is about 10-15 TV dinners. Now, I’m not completely opposed to TV dinners, it’s just that all of these are ridiculous varieties that I don’t eat or have never even heard of (also, they’re so fucking small, haven’t these people heard of HungryMan?!). My desperation for food is getting out of hand, and I’m running out of ramen and popcorn, so I’m going to just try go on a mad rush of these TV dinners, eat (or at least try) as many of them as possible until we run out, therefore the terrible parental units in charge will finally go food shopping, and hopefully get real food that I can eat.

Have to rely on the old trick of using my sister’s influence just to get pizza for dinner.

Because god forbid if I ask if we can get food, even though I haven’t eaten at all today, and barely at all the past two days. Anything my sister asks for, she’ll get with no questions asked.

I’m just as good at playing the game as my mother is.

My mother’s back to playing her mind games…

She apparently “not talking” to me because of the whole social security card thing on Monday. You know, when I’d told her over two weeks ago when I was hired in the first place to find it, since she has all of my vital documents locked away, then never looked for it, and when I had to search for it myself at the last minute, couldn’t find shit.

Now she’s playing the “do you have money?” and “get a job” game. Fuck you, you passive aggressive bitch. If there was a problem, it was because of you. Get over the bullshit, and wait like I have to (since it’s MY job to worry about) until they call me for the next orientation like they said. Don’t take your stupid misplaced aggression out on me by starving me again.

I weighed myself for the first time in years while at my grandmother’s house today

Anytime I’ve had to list my weight, I always estimated, because the last time I weighed myself (probably at a doctor’s visit, and I haven’t been to a doctor in forever because I have no insurance, #americafuckyeah) I was around 230 or something. That was probably when I was 18 or 19, I’m guessing.

I usually put my weight down as 220, because I’m fat. I definitely lost weight last year during the Summer of Starvation, which you can reminisce over by looking up my “starvation liveblog” hashtag. Still, I for sure gained some of it back while at school.

Anyway, I stepped on the scale, and I weigh 208 pounds. 208 pounds! I don’t know when the last time I weighed that much was, probably when I was a sophomore in high school, hahaha. It was definitely a welcome surprise, though it’s still weird because I still see myself as pretty fat. I wish the weight loss was more visible… I need to actually go to the gym and work on losing weight, I don’t do anything.

Dear Mother,

You responding to basically anything I ever say with “Get a job” is getting quite tiresome. It’s nearly the middle of August, that joke ran its course by the beginning of June. If I were going to get a job, it would’ve happened already. You know I have no money, which is why I’ve probably lost like twenty pounds over the summer due to starving, why I haven’t bought new clothes for school, why I’m probably not going to have any school supplies, including textbooks.

Your love and care during this time has been exceptional. You win all the awards in parenting.

Love, your neglected son, Herbie

…Aaand my mother and sister just came back from wherever they were.

My sister stands in front of my room, holding a box of food (because OF COURSE they went to eat while I was here doing and eating nothing), and says, “So how was your day?”

Really? Passive-aggression and sarcasm at 9 years old? I hate these bitches.

Weeee, made it to the ghetto market and back by foot in 20 minutes and in one piece.

The game plan was get a pound of meat and Hamburger Helper Lasagna. Of course, they happen to sell about every type of Hamburger Helper except the one I want. So, instead I got some elbow macaroni and a can of sauce, so I’ll be making “spaghetti” and meatballs for myself. I also got myself a bottle of Mountain Dew WhiteOut (god forbid anywhere that isn’t in Albany sell LiveWire), so now I’ve got soda! All this for just $8, hallelujerrrr. Sure beats spending the same amount on an order of chicken tenders and fries at The Barking Dog when this’ll definitely last me for at least the whole day. =)

Top