Come back to room to take a nap
Temptation to masturbate
It’s going on three days, and no word…
I don’t want to always be the one to message him first! Why does this ALWAYS happen with every guy I like? It’s always someone I think is interested, but my stupid attachment issues just ruin everything. I want to talk to him, but if the last message I sent three days ago was ignored, what’s the point in even trying? I feel like I should just give up, I’ve lost yet again.
So after a much needed and very…successful night at the club last night, what’s my next move?
I forgot to mention that I went on a date last night…
The date was amazing, and this guy is fantastic… I’m gonna have to do everything in my power to fight the inevitable forces that’ll try to ruin whatever comes next.
- Matt: If you had to commit suicide, how would you do it?
- Me: Have sex with a woman.
Lying, deceiving, telling half-truths, etc. will forever be my biggest pet peeve.
I’m a terribly distrusting person as it is, so if you lie to me once, I’ll always suspect you of not telling the truth afterwards. Even though my friends know this, and know that I’m too smart for them to ever get away with lying to me, they continue to do…and get caught.
And people wonder why I’m so cynical. -_-
I think today finally opened my eyes as to why people don’t like adding family members to their Facebook accounts…
Gonna have to do some mass editing of my privacy settings tomorrow, since people clearly can’t respect the fact that I should able to write whatever I choose on my own page…
Spazzing about financial issues I shouldn’t have to worry about -_-
I dropped Japanese 405, so I don’t have to worry about ultimately failing that. I also don’t have to worry about buying that textbook, which is more of a pressing matter.
I should have enough money to pay for the books I absolutely need this semester, and still have just under $100 left over. I’m likely going to Atlantic City with my cousin next Tuesday for the day, but I’m not looking to spend much money, so I should still have some cash to last me for a few days in Albany when school starts. Best possible thing could be winning a few hundred bucks in AC, but that’s highly unlikely.
I’m still worrying because I haven’t heard anything from Target in Albany about my transfer application. I thought this’d be much simpler than it’s becoming, but nothing ever is, of course! I really don’t want to have to worry about going on a whole other job hunt when I get to school after spending half of the summer trying to get this job here thinking I’d be able to easily transfer when I moved back to Albs. If I don’t get the job, then what? I can’t finish my payments for the rest of the school year, and then I’m royally fucked. >_<
Good times when all of my (step)siblings are gone, and I’m the only one of the children home.
I got to enjoy some fun girl talk with my mom while poolside, and now we’re going to dinner with my stepdad at Chili’s and hopefully getting drunk.
Finally worked up the nerve to tell my mother about my current educational/financial plight…
I opened with, “Can I talk to you about something important?” She responds, “I ain’t got no money.” Off to a great start.
She kinda just sat there barely listening while on her computer as I spilled everything: my reduced financial aid, possibly moving off-campus, not making much money from work, the possible troubles with transferring my job… After finishing, she says, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you…” So I walked out, and she asked why I left. I said that since she has nothing else to say, that I was done, that I’d been stressing over this for weeks, thinking of how I could talk to her about, that I can’t talk to her about anything anymore. I feel like I could’ve said more to really drive the point home that I have no support system, but I think she may have gotten it.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t care if I came out of your vagina, if you talk down to me and disrespect me for no reason, you’re going to get the exact same thing back.
I’ve come to a sad realization that I’m gonna have to start watching anime and listening to J-Pop to keep my ears attuned to Japanese…
It’s a terribly otaku thing for me to do, but being home, and obviously not hearing/speaking it in class or with friends is causing me to lose the ability. Reading and writing is always one thing, but verbal/aural communication is another. =/