My glasses fetish is a serious thing.
メガネをかけてる男が大好き。 -_- There’s definitely some sort of otaku subset of nerds that like moe glasses-wearing girls. If there’s a gay version, I’m definitely in that group.
Ugh, I hate boys, and the things they do, and don’t do, especially the things they do or don’t do to me. Fuck them all.
Personal note to myself before I go to bed:
And not in reference to any one guy in particular, yet in reference to all of them, but in varying degrees and predicaments…
DO NOT GET ATTACHED. DO NOT GET OVER EMOTIONAL. DO NOT STALK, DO NOT BECOME THE ONE THAT DOES ALL THE WORK, AS ALWAYS. LET SOMEONE COME TO YOU TO PROVE THERE’S ACTUALLY SOMETHING THERE. DO NOT GET DISTRACTED BY PURELY THE PHYSICAL, AND DON’T GET SUCKED INTO A FANTASY BECAUSE OF THE PERSONAL.
This has been a public service announcement for myself. Good night.
If you couldn’t guess from my little post last night, I was effectively friend zoned again.
This guy is great. He’s cute, he’s musically talented, he’s absolutely hilarious, he’s sweet, just all around fun to be around. I thought maybe he was interested in something…
Like, I thought in drinking together with some of his friends at his school, I’d hoped maybe it’d make things a little easier and maybe some moves would be made. We had spent nearly the entire day together at UA first, watching a movie in my room, eating snacks together and playfully throwing wrappers at each other. Then we got dinner at the Campus Center, chilled with two of my friends, until we decided to go have some drinks with his friends.
He didn’t drink much, but he got a tiny bit more touchy-feely with me. Still, the entire night, he was on Grindr, and while he said he’s not into hooking up with guys and that he just chats with some people, it was still a sign of rejection. I even attempted to forget to get to the bus at a decent time, in hopes of being forced to spend the night. Well, first he complained about going back to his room and roommate, and when I offered for him to come back to my room, he respectfully declined. Then, when the bus passed by my stop because it was full, I hoped he would offer to let me stay with him then… Instead, his last ditch effort was to get one of his sober friends to drive me back to UA.
So, in the end, I felt guilty for making this poor girl drive me back to campus at 2am in the freezing cold, and rejected yet again by another great guy that I can’t have and isn’t interested in me. I got back to my room feeling like shit, and nearly cried myself to sleep.
I hope that maybe what I thought was cute flirty behavior between us really was cute flirty behavior, and that he maybe wants to take things slow, hence not wanting to spend the night in case some drunken mistake happened. I just don’t want to be that idiot that read things the wrong way again.
Things went well tonight!
Got to meet with the guy from St. Rose I’d been talking to; he’s so cute, and absolutely hilarious! We watched 127 Hours with some of my friends (that movie with James Franco stuck under a rock, whatever), and then afterwards decided to randomly take the bus downtown to get pizza from Mild Wally’s for their dollar slices, then jumped right back on the bus back up to campus. He didn’t take the bus back, since he could just walk back the one block to his campus, but we texted for the next hour or so. He wants to hang out again tomorrow, possibly watch some movies on Netflix. I’m so happy and excited! Hopefully we can keep this going, and see what happens next. =)
Oh, edited to also add, thank you so much to my friends for going along with this movie night thing, so I had some back up and an excuse to invite him over, otherwise my lame ass would’ve been too nervous to have done anything at all. XD
Another wild night out at Therapy last night…
- People from RPI that I met the night before were there! It was fun hanging with them again, even if the guys that I’m trying to get with weren’t there. -_-
- Hardly any of my friends went out… Not sure what that was all about, but I still had a good time being almost alone.
- I actually even worked up the courage to ask a guy to dance…but he was with someone else, ugh.
- Had some weird drunk chicks dance with me a few times. Lesbians are so crazy.
- Also had some guy try to offer me and my friends “party favors,” to which I responded, “Party favors..? Wait, OMG DRUGS?! NOOOO!” So embarrassing.
- Had an interesting talk with a guy I had a… “thing” with. It at least cleared up things between us which was good.
- Also tried talking to this reeeally cute guy I’d seen at Waterworks before. I introduced myself, got his name, but then had to leave. Still leaps and bounds more than what I’m usually capable of handling in a social situation. I actually ended finding him on Facebook randomly, but he doesn’t have his “Add Friend” button enabled.
September’s not even done, and I’m already running out of boys to ruin my life with…
Flirting with disaster, yet again.
Just setting myself up for another letdown.
Oh, these games I find myself playing… -_-
Seeing my 14 and 16 year old cousins* complain about boys on Facebook kinda makes me sick…
Like, shut up, ok? Be happy you girls even HAVE boys to whine about not texting you or wanting to hang out with you! I’m ten fucking years older than you and have even more pathetic love life than either of you have; if anyone should be bitching, it should be me. Ugh, I hate teenage girls. -_-
*They’re really my actual blood-related cousins’ half-sisters, so they’re really of no relation to me, but whatever.